Oh depression...

I have been in a super funk for about a month now. I have only been to the gym 2 times. I have no energy or want to go. I know its because I'm depressed and I'm depressed because I have no one special in my life. I am getting to that point to where I want to settle down but no one wants me. I have never been in a real relationship before I want desperately want to experience what love feels like. I am getting old and I am afraid I will always be alone and it hurts so much. I try dating websites but the only guys that contact me are either old or very unattractive. I do have a date lined up for Saturday evening but I am afraid there will be no spark. Plus I have no friends and that hurts too. I have no one to go do things with and hang out with. It's just my mom and my cats. I am such a loser. I finally have a career now and an education and I am ready to move forward but its not happening and I don't think it ever will. Depression.

I have decided to do another round of HCG.

I just can't stop eating and I am starting to gain some weight back. I am going to do a 3 week round. I will load on Friday and Saturday. I am weak and have no self control. UGH!!! I hate myself sometimes. I love sweets and savory foods. I just sent 2 bottles to my friend in Phoenix so I will wait until I get her letter with the money for those bottles before I can get my own. My mom will start another round after she gets back from Montana for the 4th. I can't go because I have to stinking work. It sucks big time that I am missing out on everything still because I need money. Montana is where my sister in laws folks live and they invited us out there they live right on the river and its so beautiful and peaceful.

I think while I am doing the HCG I will only workout on Tuesdays and Thursdays and do a double session its curcuit training or bootcamp and zumba on those nights and Saturday mornings I will do bootcamp. I don't think I will have enough energy to do everything while I'm on it. I want to be sexy. Damnit.

I think I am going to make some marshmallow fondant today and bake a cake to practice fondant cakes. I should get the stuff to make some gumpaste so I can practice flowers and play with my new veiner board I got at the Carolyn's yesterday. I got some wire there since I couldn't find it at Michaels. Hummm... what to do what to do...

Will it work today?

So, I sold my first cake today! I made a spongebob squarepants cupcake cake. First time making one of those and suprisingly easy! I paid off both my credit cards with the money I got back from school. I also have got some Le Cordon Bleu logo clothes and a food processer, imersion blender, bowl scraping paddle attachment for my mixer (one that will fit this time!), and a cute kitty apron. Lol. Now to save the rest for when my loan payments start rolling in. I hope all is well with everyone. And am hoping Blogger will start working again for everyone!

IDK...

Seems as no one is blogging anymore. : ( Life for me is moving right along. Hard to believe we are already 1/2 through the year already! The lovebirds are on their honeymoon in Maui until Thursday so we have their 2 dogs and 2 cats for a grand total of 6 cats and 3 large dogs! Yikes. We are completely overrun by animals and fur!

I am making my first cupcake cake for a real customer! Woohoo!