Thursday, June 23, 2011
Oh depression...
I have been in a super funk for about a month now. I have only been to the gym 2 times. I have no energy or want to go. I know its because I'm depressed and I'm depressed because I have no one special in my life. I am getting to that point to where I want to settle down but no one wants me. I have never been in a real relationship before I want desperately want to experience what love feels like. I am getting old and I am afraid I will always be alone and it hurts so much. I try dating websites but the only guys that contact me are either old or very unattractive. I do have a date lined up for Saturday evening but I am afraid there will be no spark. Plus I have no friends and that hurts too. I have no one to go do things with and hang out with. It's just my mom and my cats. I am such a loser. I finally have a career now and an education and I am ready to move forward but its not happening and I don't think it ever will. Depression.
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I feel compelled to respond since I am in a similar boat. I read some of your blog in the past when I was doing the hcg but fail to remember how old you are. I think you are younger than me. So, you have plenty of time!Try not to rush these things. Focus on getting yourself to the place you want to be, physically, emotionally, etc. If you can find the courage, do things that you want to do that maybe you don't because its awkward when someone isnt there with you.If someone doesnt want to go see a movie I want to see, I go anyway. Its really not that bad, if you haven't tried to step out a little. But, I also understand that when the depression hits its like a ton of bricks that breaks your spirit. I'm hoping you will feel the things you need to feel, then one day, wake up pissed and with a renewed motivated to change it, whatever that "it" seems to be. I wish you only the best. Good Luck, M.
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