Tee hee hee

Ok. So I was a complete bitch on HCG so I stopped and am doing Weight Watchers with my mom and I am down 8 lbs since Sunday! Whoot whoot. It it easier to do the same diet as my mom since we eat together and I was very jealous of the things she got to eat and I was stuck with chicken, an apple, and a pickle and a breadstick. This is working well for me. I am writing down my food and counting up my points. Plus I can get frozen meals and the points are already figured out for me. Erica, you are a complete saint! Such willpower! Congratulations on being able to stick with it! I couldn't. So, I don't remember what I last said about work but Wednesday I got pulled into the bosses office and I got into trouble because the scones I made didn't turn out... I mis-scaled somewhere so I don't know where and Megan (the girl who has always been so mean to me) was supposed to be traiining me but she would always leave me alone so they blamed her too since she wasn't watching over me and training/babysitting me like a trainer is supposed to. SO! They infomed me that Ieshia, my manager, is going to be training me over the next month or so and I am the new lead baker! Megan basically got demoted as she has been doing some things recently that she shouldn't have been. I feel bad at how everything played out but I am super excited for myself!!! My feelings are torn because Megan and I were finally starting to kinda get along after I stood up to her a couple months ago and told her to F OFF!!! Now I am sure she blames me for losing her position but she has no one to blame but herself and her crappy attitude. So, mom and I went to Olive Garden and celebrated... I went over points but thankfully we get some flex points each week. Well, I gotta get going. Have a wonderful rest of your weekend Erica! I'm back to work in the morning. Update: I was able to leave a comment! I switched to the new interface for blogger and it worked! Hooray! Anyhoo, off to church in an hour and a half then back home. I think I shall take Lilli to the dog park again. She loves it so much! I like all the people I meet there too.

Will power?? Oh will power...

... where did you go? Ugh! So I ate everything under the sun today. Oh well. All of my crap food is now gone and I will not allow myself to buy any more. At least its not in the back of my mind anymore. I hate this diet. Lol. But tomorrow is a new day and I will get back into the correct mindset. I did lose 2.2 lbs this morning. It's not that great for the beginning but I can't expect to lose weight like I did in round 1.

I go back to the doctor on Thursday and hopefully she will release me to go back to the gym, maybe not to do classes yet but I should be able to do the machines. That will help get my motivation to eat correctly going again. I made it the entire workday in my Crocs. I didn't have my inserts in them so tomorrow I will wear my Shape Ups with my inserts in them and see how long I make it in those. I am hoping I can be boot free now. That thing really is annoying!

Oh man, my stomach is starting to cramp from all the crap food. Hopefully I have learned my lesson. Lol.

Good night!

PS. Erica, I am so jealous that you are sleeping so well! I am sleeping like crap thanks to the meds I am on!

Round 5 VLCD Day 1

Whew... I made it. I had the worse headache all day today and I was hungry and so tired and had zero energy. Hoping tomorrow will be better. I just gotta get back into the swing of things. I didn't cheat at all today either. Yay!!!! I wasn't very hungry for my last loading day. I had a small bleu cheese salad for lunch and pizza for dinner and then ate a bunch of chocolate chip cookies and had a couple beers at the PF beach in the afternoon.

I will google that lady once I am done here. Thanks for the info Erica! They are really pretty and I am glad you said they are super simple. I am glad we are doing the diet at the same time! I had no idea! It's always nice to know somone is sharing in your pain! Lol.

I hope I lose some weight tomorrow!

Ok...

So, I can post but I can't leave comments.

Erica... I would really love to get together and learn how you do the buttercream roses all over the cake. The pic I saw on FB was awesome! And I wanna learn if you are willing to teach me!

Anyways... Lots has been going on. August 5th I had my heel spur removed from my left foot. It's been an interesting adventure but I am super glad I had it done since it feels better than in has in years, I just wish recovery would be quicker. Lol. Slowly but surely. I finally got to drive my truck tonight... It's a stick so doc said I had to wait. I can now do part time shoes with inserts and part time boot still. It feels SO WEIRD wearing a shoe on my left foot. I feel very unbalanced and my foot swells alot. Got new shoes they are mesh on the toe area but are open on the top of the foot and they have criss cross velco straps so that I can adjust them as my foot swells. They are comfy too so that is good. Lol.

Other good news... My boss told me yesterday that I am going to start training on Sunday to be co-lead baker, or if I do really good then I will be lead baker. They said that my talents are being wasted just making scones. That really made my day. : ) I am excited and nervous cuz I still have a hard time standing for long periods of time. I have a stool but where I will now be working is not a good area for a stool. So, who knows what will happen but I will take it one step at a time. Tonight the GM at Shari's texted me and asked if I wanted a part time job so I am going to talk to him in the morning. Gotta start paying medical bills here soon! Yikes.

I started loading today. I am going to do a 6 week round so I can look good for my graduation ceremony the last weekend in October. No cheating or giving up this time. Mom is doing Weight Watchers and she is doing good so far. Expect today. Lol. She was kinda loading with me. I had McDonalds breakfast, Jamms frozen yogurt, Toro Veijo nachos and am sitting here eating kettle chips and drinking Dr. Pepper as I type. I feel disgusting. I didnt' weigh in this morning as I was in Clarkston visiting my bro and sis in law. I will weigh tomorrow to give myself some knowledge of how much I gained on my loading days. I am not brave like you Erica to not weigh myself everyday. Though I agree that I get super bummed when I stall or only lose .2. But I am too OCD/anal not to do it. Lol.

Well, I think that is all I have to talk about for the time being. I am glad that blogger is mostly working. Hopefully I can figure out why I can't leave comments... it says that they can't verify my email address or someting stupid like that.

Let's see if this works!

I just wanna test this before I start typing everything and lose it all!

Oh depression...

I have been in a super funk for about a month now. I have only been to the gym 2 times. I have no energy or want to go. I know its because I'm depressed and I'm depressed because I have no one special in my life. I am getting to that point to where I want to settle down but no one wants me. I have never been in a real relationship before I want desperately want to experience what love feels like. I am getting old and I am afraid I will always be alone and it hurts so much. I try dating websites but the only guys that contact me are either old or very unattractive. I do have a date lined up for Saturday evening but I am afraid there will be no spark. Plus I have no friends and that hurts too. I have no one to go do things with and hang out with. It's just my mom and my cats. I am such a loser. I finally have a career now and an education and I am ready to move forward but its not happening and I don't think it ever will. Depression.

I have decided to do another round of HCG.

I just can't stop eating and I am starting to gain some weight back. I am going to do a 3 week round. I will load on Friday and Saturday. I am weak and have no self control. UGH!!! I hate myself sometimes. I love sweets and savory foods. I just sent 2 bottles to my friend in Phoenix so I will wait until I get her letter with the money for those bottles before I can get my own. My mom will start another round after she gets back from Montana for the 4th. I can't go because I have to stinking work. It sucks big time that I am missing out on everything still because I need money. Montana is where my sister in laws folks live and they invited us out there they live right on the river and its so beautiful and peaceful.

I think while I am doing the HCG I will only workout on Tuesdays and Thursdays and do a double session its curcuit training or bootcamp and zumba on those nights and Saturday mornings I will do bootcamp. I don't think I will have enough energy to do everything while I'm on it. I want to be sexy. Damnit.

I think I am going to make some marshmallow fondant today and bake a cake to practice fondant cakes. I should get the stuff to make some gumpaste so I can practice flowers and play with my new veiner board I got at the Carolyn's yesterday. I got some wire there since I couldn't find it at Michaels. Hummm... what to do what to do...