R2 VLCD Day 2

Well, I only lost 2 pounds this morning. Which is better than nothing but last time I lost 4.6 I think. Oh well. I won't let it get me down. I didn't drink much water yesterday so I think and hope that is why.

Happy Halloween Ladies!!

R2 VLCD Day 1

I feel disgusting. I gained another 2 lbs. But I am still .2 below my LDW from last round so I am not going to freak out too much. I hope I can lose all 4.6 lbs I gained in the last 2 days tomorrow morning. Lol. Taking the drops is still nasty tasting. I don't think I will ever get used to the taste. I have 30 more pounds to lose this round. I know Mia and Erica had a harder time losing weight than the first round which scares me to death!  

My dad got a new dog yesterday. His old dog passed away in June and ever since my stepmom said she wanted a divorce he has wanted a new dog. The dog is cute but that means that now my cats and I are prisoners in my room, again. I won't leave my cats up here by themselves all day. It's not fair to them. Sigh. At least its only for 3 more months until I move back home. It's just going to seem like a longer time now that I am stuck in my room again.

R2 Loading day 2

I gained 2.6 lbs! GROSS!!! I still have 2.2 lbs before I am at my LDW so as long as I don't go over that I won't freak out as bad. I felt disgusting all day yesterday. I had the WORST case of gas last night at work and even still this morning. I much prefer eating healthier over eating junk now. I can't wait to start my diet tomorrow. Not looking forward to starving the first week but hopefully loading well I won't be as bad off as I was the first round. But I know what to expect this time and will be prepared for it. I'm ready!

Have a good day!!

Update** Had a donut for breakfast. Not a maple bar but it had sprinkles which I loved... all I can feel is the nasty coating on the roof of my mouth... shortening. GROSS!

R2 Loading day 1

My official weight today is 225.6. I guess my body does not like jerky. Note to self for future! I am ready to eat! Woohoo!!! Have a great day ladies!!

P3 Day 21

So, TOMORROW IS MY FIRST LOADING DAY!!! I am so stinking excited! I bought some candies... I didn't find my pumpkin patch candies but Walmart has some Christmas candies already (?) and so I got some candy cane hershey kisses. That sounds good! Plus some Junior Mints, a Caramello, Hot tamales, and some carmel popcorn. Lol. I plan on stopping at McD's for breakfast on my way to class and hopefully having Chipotle for lunch (its a really good mexican kinda sit down fast foodie place). They have really good burritos and they only use organic stuff so it's healthier for me too! By that time I am sure I will feel disgusting but I want macaroni and cheese for dinner. Lol. I am not really looking forward to starting the drops again but I think I have a good schedule going and so I will take the drops as soon as I get up and then shower and that will put me over the 15 minute mark so I can have a drink once I get out the shower. I am excited to finally start losing weight again. I lost another 1.4 lbs this morning putting me at 225.2 and my goal is to be around 200 or less by the time I fly home so I think it's doable!!! Even if all I ever eat is cottage cheese and strawberries for lunch and steak and applesauce for dinner. It's been a magical combo for me and it fills me up and it's helping me lose weight! Woohoo!!! I'm ready! Bring on the VLCD!!!!

P3 Day 20

Today and tomorrow left. I am so happy! I can't wait to start losing weight again! I am ready for the weight to come off! I really wanna surprise my friends and family with how much I have lost!!Or I guess how I look with it off. Lol. I am going to have a Torrid shopping trip before I go so I have some cute clothes before I go that actually fit! Rack up some money on that card. Lol.

Gained another .2 lbs this morning probably cuz I wasn't hungry when they sent me on break yesterday (2 hours after I got there for a 9 hour shift...) so I never ate dinner cuz I was SO tired when I got home I went straight to bed. Its ok. I'm 3.8 lbs under my LDW still.

Ok, must finish getting ready for school. Have a great day ladies!

P3 Day 19

Went to the fair. Saw DMX. He is very sexy. Lol. Ate like 2 bites of a funnel cake and some chili cheese fries... gained .2 lbs only! The fries weren't even that good to me... which is really good. Fried foods are no longer appealing to me! Woo hoo! 2 more days until loading! Pizza here I come! The only candy I have been dreaming about is called Pumpkin Patch. They are these round disks with peanut butter on top and chocolate crispies on the bottom. They are halloween candy. : ) Gotta pick up some of those!

Have a great day!

P3 Day 18

Yesterday should have been day 17. Didn't have much of an appetite yesterday so I am down another pound. Hopefully things will start looking up now. I think my mom is over the saddest part. It is a different feeling when your parents come to you with their hurts as it has always been the other way around.

Think I may be going to the fair after work. We'll see. Have a good day!

P3 Day 16 I think

Oh man. My mom's constant companion (cat) Mikey died last night. He was fine when she left for work and when she got home he was foaming at the mouth and diarrhea and couldn't move. He had no white blood cells and when she left the vet for the night they called her 9 minutes later to say he passed. She was hysterical. He was a part of the family and he was only 7 years old. They are going to open up his tummy to see what happened as the blood tests and xrays didn't show anything that would cause his symptoms. My heart hurts all over again. First my dad and now my mom. I'm so stressed out and sad for them. I can't handle much more.

Needless to say I didn't eat last night so Im down 1 lb from yesterday.


Have a nice weekend ladies.

P3 Day 16

I think TOM is finally catching up to me... Up 1.6 lbs from yesterday. Still in the 220's though. I am really ready to start losing weight again!!! Oh well. Nothing else to report. Have a fabulous day ladies!

P3 Day 15

Lost another 1.2 pounds this morning. I don't know what I am doing wrong to keep losing weight. Maybe my body is just as ready as I am to lose more weight! TOM keeps messing with me and I don't like it! I feel really bloated and yet I keep losing alot of weight (for not being on the drops!) Any suggestions on what I should eat these last 6 days to keep me maintaining??

P3 Day 14

Damn you TOM!!! He started EARLY and is heavy. That is something new with the drops (and now off the drops). I have been like clockwork every month for YEARS until HCG came around. The benefits outweigh the disadvantages so I am still happy. Lol. I lost another 1.2 lbs this morning... I dunno what is going on. I went to In and Out with my dad yesterday and had my first fast food in 2 months! Had is protein style... wrapped in lettuce instead of a bun. Did ya'll know they had a secret menu?? Check out the website!! And then I had pudding and jello and a whole can of tuna with pickles and mayo. Lol. TOM will probably shoot me back up to my LDW tomorrow. Jerk.

Have a great day! I have another day off today!!! Woohoo!!! Then I work 6 days in a row. *Cry*

P3 Day 13

Only 8 more days on this phase! Woo hoo!! Lost another 1.4 lbs this morning meaning I am back in the 220's. Lol. I've lost 2.8 lbs in the last 2 days but I am hanging out around my LDW so hopefully that is ok.

I tried on my bridesmaid dress today. I was little loose in the 20 so I ordered it in the 18 and will just have them take it in before I move back to Idaho. They are discontinuing the dress so I had to order it now/soon before it was gone. Awesome news is the bride is going to pay me back for the dress! She said she didn't want us buying a dress we were only going to wear once, but I would definitely wear it for a fancy occasion! I totally felt like a princess... still a fat one but it's nice to know that I am no longer a size 24! Now I am going to have to find a REALLY good strapless bra to hold the girls up in that dress too!

Hope everyone is having a great day!

P3 Day 12

Steak really is my magic food. Had eggs with cheese, jello and applesauce for "breakfast" and steak and pudding for dinner and I lost 1.4 lbs which put me right back to my LDW! It's incredible. Well, it's Monday. Which means it's really my Friday... I have tuesday off for this week and wednesday off for next week... work schedule is wed thru tues. But I am still working 6 days and this next week I have 41.5 hours. At this rate I will have all my move home money saved and be able to afford to get my family some presents. : ) Hopefully! Well, It's time to get finished getting ready. Have a wonderful day everyone!

P3 Day 11

Thank god I only have 10 days left on this phase. I gained .6 this morning. It's probably cuz my step mom took me and her friend out to sonic. I had the hotdog with chili and cheese but no bun. I am not sure about the hotdog but the rest I can have. I am just gonna eat some steak for dinner and see if that drops me back down. I am so exhausted! Today is day 11 in a row of working. I have 1 more day after today. My step mom and I are going to see my nephew today too. I havent seen him in quite a while so I am excited.

Im not sleeping at night any more. I don't know why. Im just so tired a can hardly function any longer! Ugh! Gotta go to work now. Have a wonderful day ladies!

P3 Day 10

Whew... didn't lose or gain any weight today. Woohoo. I don't know what it is with me and steak but my body loves it for this diet. I will be excited when this phase is over and I start losing weight again!

P3 Day 9

Well, gained .8 back. I just gotta remember that I am under alot of stress right now and that TOM is coming. I am going to stop and buy more steak tonight for dinner but I am still going to eat my sandwich. Now that I am not working nights for the rest of the week I can actually cook some meat. Only 12 more days on P3 and then I finally get to load and get back to VLCD. I hope I have as much success as I did the first round. Have a great day all!

P3 Day 8

My steak day worked! I lost the 1.8 lbs and that put me right back at my LDW. It's weird that my body knows exactly where it should be now. Today is going to be a very long and hard day for me. I have to work another 11 to 9 shift today. I don't understand why they are trying to kill me. Oh well. I need the money to get the hell  outta here!

My dad is going to drive back with me to Idaho and he wants to do it in one straight shot. And he wants to leave as soon as I get out of school on Feb 10! I just hope my cats will be able to make it that long locked in crates. They wouldn't eat or use the litter box until we had stopped for the night when my mom and I drove down here. We shall see, I can't worry about that now but as you can see I already am!

Have a great day ladies!

P3 Day 6 and 7

Yesterday was day 6 and I gained .4 and today I woke up at gained 1.4! I HATE P3! I am going to do a steak day but I am going to have to eat my steak around 1:30pm since I have to work until 9pm and then go straight to bed. I thought my schedule would get better with my new availability but no, it still sucks. I really wish I was back on P2. This isn't worth the break. I like the structure of P2, I know exactly what I can eat and how much. Sigh oh well. It's only for 2 more weeks. I hope I can figure out the whole stabilizing thing soon.

P3 Day 5

Gained .4 again this morning. I really hate eating on P3! I had an apple and peanut butter for breakfast. Didn't get home from work til after 5pm so I ate some left over chili from yesterday and now Im stuffed. No desires for eating still. I am no good at this "eat to sustain your body" phase! My body likes 500 calories a day. Lol. I never have been a eat 3 times a day person so this is really hard for me. I want to reset my metabolism and I don't think I am doing a good job at it. But I am trying. Eating 2x's a day is better than I used to do. At least I haven't wanted to go crazy and eat everything I can find! I want chips pretty bad though. I keep looking at our BBQ chips at work and I can remember what they taste like and it makes my mouth water!

I think my dad might be doing better today. He wants to get a dog so that means my cats will have to be locked in my bedroom again when I am not home (which is pretty much all the time). Sigh. Oh well. If it makes him happier than I am all for it.

P3 Day 4

Well. No gain no loss this morning. Which is good but I only had 1 real meal yesterday. I had to force myself to eat some jello and cheese last night so I wouldnt be starving this morning. I have to say that I prefer the VLCD as weird as that sounds I like the few choices I am limited to and it is so much easier for me.

I used to eat my feelings (like you Tonnie : ) ) and I was happy last night when the thought of food disgusted me. Food is just becoming something I have to do and not something I want or enjoy anymore. Which is AWESOME! I really feel like this whole diet is working for me and giving me the confidence I need in order to stick with it and be really successful!

Eating on P3 is hard. I am still not hungry. I eat 1 sandwich and Im good for the rest of the day then make myself eat a snack or something because I know I should eat more. Maybe I will get more hungry as my stomach enlarges more?? Who knows. I think I will make myself eat some chili with cheese on top for dinner. I had my sandwich at 9:30am and its now almost 4pm and I am still full! I don't like stuffing myself!

Anyways. Thanks for all the support ladies! You are all so awesome to me!

Oh God. What just happened?

My stepmom just told my dad she wants a divorce. I am in a state of shock. I just need someone/somewhere to talk about it. My poor dad is heartbroken. I am scared he is going to pine away. I hope not. I am worried about him right now but I don't know what to say to him. Nothing is going to make it hurt less or feel better. I just don't know what to do for him.

P3 Day 3

Gained .4 back this morning. I ate my dinner and went straight to bed so that probably didn't help. But work didn't give me a break yesterday so I couldn't eat earlier. Which is what is going to happen again today and I was so looking forward to eggs with turkey and mozzarella cheese and a piece of bacon. I can always snag a piece of bacon on the fly. : ) I hope to get my weight stabilized here quickly so that I know what foods my body likes in order to not fluctuate. Well, have a good day everyone. I am off to the salt mine.

P3 Day 2

Gained .6 this morning. I had cheese, my sandwich <3, salad and jello. I am just not that hungry. I know that is under 1000 calories but I ate when I was hungry and didn't stuff myself... I wanted to after I had my sandwich, I knew I was full from the sandwich, but I really wanted that jello. I told myself no! those are old habits trying to come back... to just keep eating after I knew I was full! I was proud of myself. : )

Hope everyone has a good day!

A little pamper Bre time...

Got my hair cut. Just got some layers but I really like it! I was looking at myself in the mirror and got sad. Even with losing 30 lbs I am still a huge fat ass. I barely fit in the chair... which I would not have 6 weeks ago. I wish losing 30 lbs would have meant I wasnt so huge anymore but it doesnt. Kinda knocked me back into reality. Its no wonder I haven't had a boyfriend since highschool and no one wants to go on a 2nd date with me. I am scared I will be alone forever. I just want to have a family of my own. It seems less likely every year. It hurts my heart.

P3 Day 1

Man it feels good to say that! Lost another .4lbs this morning. I am sure I will gain it all back today. Lol. I made my tuna sandwich last night so it's ready for consumption today. : ) Have some cheddar cheese, jello, and applesauce in my lunchbox too. It feels so weird that I can eat again. I hope I am able to eat enough now! Gonna have a salad for dinner. Looking forward to that as well!

Have a great day everyone!

VLCD Day 38

Lost another .8lbs this morning. Which finally puts me in the 220's!!! Barely but I am there!!! YAY!!! This is my last VLCD day! I bought some sprouted whole grain yesterday so I can make my sandwich tonight for tomorrow! I am going to buy some of those pre packaged salads as well! And sugar free/fat free jello and pudding. Yum. I can have diet soda too. It always tasted so watered down to me in the past. I just wanna try it to see what it tastes like to me now. Lol. I am so excited for food. Question time for P3: Can I lose more than 2 lbs while on P3 or I don't want to go 2# under or 2# over. I think its 2# under or over, but I want to keep losing weight! Lol.

To celebrate I am getting my hair cut tomorrow by the fancy studio next to my work... they charge $55 for a haircut! But I get mine for $25!! Woohoo. I just need a trim and a style. I look like a bushman when it's down, or like a clown... it''s straight at the root and poofy at the bottom. It's time.



Anyways ladies. Happy releases today! I hope the scale is downward for you all! Especially Tonnie!!!

Update: Well, I went out with some of the ladies I used to work with... they all moved to other stores or jobs... I had a salad... it had gorgonzola cheese on it, I almost feel bad but I know tomorrow I can have cheese. It was so good though! It had pears and walnuts too. Yummy! And a walnut vingearette dressing so I don't feel too guilty.

I made my tuna sandwich for tomorrow. I also packed jello, applesauce and some cheddar cheese slices. I don't really know how to eat now. It is SO weird! I will have my salad when I get home from work. No breakfast... I just don't get up early enough. Lol.

VLCD Day 37- Last Dosage Weight!!!

I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I lost .8 lbs this morning for a total of 30.4 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now today and tomorrow of VLCD with no drops then onto Phase 3!!!!! I am so happy!!!!

Update: It is so nice being able to drink water whenever I want to and not have to wait 30 minutes with the drops! Bought some sprouted organic wheat bread at the health food store. I can't wait! I am going to have a tuna sandwich with mayo... yum! I have been so happy all day!

Ok, just took my measurements! 32.25 inches GONE!!! HOLY SH*T!!

VLCD Day 36

Alright, Im back on track! Lost 1.2 lbs today my total is now 29.6lbs lost. .4 more til 30lbs. I can just taste it! Worried though because I am out of cottage cheese and steak now and I agreed to work from 11am to 9pm today. Crap. Hopefully I will have enough time to stop at the store by school and pick up some cottage cheese! I can get chicken and lettuce at work for dinner I suppose. Lol. Oh well. I will find what I can. Well, have a good day everyone!

Update: Well, tonight will be my last drops and then my bottle is empty. It's only 2 days early so I don't feel bad. I just hope that I hit that 30lbs mark tomorrow. Im so damn close I can taste it! 2 days of VLCD with no drops then on to P3. I have never been so excited for a sandwich and a salad in my freakin' life!

Worked 10 hours day! My dogs are barkin'! Gonna work as much as I can so I can save as much as possible. I want to get contacts too... my glasses are rubbing the bridge of my nose raw, I seriously have a red rash or something across my nose now. Ugh! My life is never easy or simple, it's always hectic and unpredictable. Oh well.

 Good night ladies! I am sorry so many of you are frustrated. It makes me scared to do a round 2 p2!! But, we can do it!

VLCD Day 35

So, I gained .6 this morning. Grr. But at least I know what foods my body likes to lose it again tomorrow. Damnit! I am so close to being done and I just want a 30 lb loss. It's frustrating to say the least but I am doing  to finish it! Or at least until my drops run out... getting close! Ugh. Off to work now...

Update: My willpower is amazing. At my job we have 2 cookies that we switch out in the fall and summer. The ginger mollasses cookies are my FAVORITE!!! I had to make 4 trays of them before I left... we just got some in this afternoon. My manager and supervisor both ate one in front of me and started teasing me about how good they were... October 31st I can have one or five... I can wait. But I don't want to... lol. But I will!

I am almost out of drops but I have 4 days to go. My last day of drops is the 7th, and my last day of VLCD is the 9th. I start my maintance phase on Sunday... unless I run out of drops in which case I will start my 2 days of no drops on VLCD. I am ready for this to be over! The end is in sight and it's not coming soon enough!

VLCD Day 34

Feeling more encouraged this morning. Woke up to a 1.2 lb loss! That puts me at 29lbs lost total! I still have 5 days to go to lose another pound! Woohoo!!!!

VLCD Day 33

Only lost .2 this morning. Kinda a bummer. I am just really hoping I can make it to 30lbs this round. I only have a week left on the drops. Does that mean that I stop counting my weight loss on my last day of drops? Then I continue eating 500 calories for 3 days and then I head into Phase 3... correct?? I am getting very excited for a sandwich. It's all consuming right now. Well, I better finish getting ready for school. Hope everyone has big losses on the scale this morning!

New: It's so hard to keep going now that the end is in sight. It was much easier when the end was so far away. Now I am obsessed with being done and eating some different food! It's been a hard but satisfying journey.  But I am so ready for this to be OVER! It's hard watching everyone around me eating whatever they want. I wanna eat whatever I want again too... and I don't even want candy... which for me is WEIRD! I was a candy freak! I can't wait for my 3 weeks of getting to eat normally and learning to eat foods that are good for my body that will help me maintain a healthy weight for the rest of my life. Then, it will be back to 6 weeks of phase 2. I am learning good habits. I used to keep candy/chocolates in my nightstand and eat them as I read at night. Now the desire is not there, I go for my water bottle. : ) This really is a life changing thing. Thank you Erica and Mia for opening my eyes and showing me a way to be a better me. : ) And good luck and congrats to Cindy, Jackie, Jamie, Tonnie, Laura (classmate), and Natasha (classmate) for starting this and doing wonderfully!!!